


AITA for telling my ex to leave when i saw him at a party?

by yuyangs



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Exes, Getting Back Together, M/M, Reddit AU, Social Media, r/AmITheAsshole, r/relationship_advice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:21:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26565028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuyangs/pseuds/yuyangs
Summary: After bumping into each other at a party, Atsumu goes to reddit to figure out why his ex-boyfriend, who he's been avoiding for the better half of a year, suddenly blew up at him. Atsumu is definitely not the asshole... right?
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Comments: 54
Kudos: 494





	1. Atsumu

**Author's Note:**

> this is the fruit of my recent sakuatsu brainrot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> because this is a reddit au, here's some of the lingo for the unfamiliar!  
> AITA - am i the asshole  
> YTA - you're the asshole  
> NTA - (you're) not the asshole  
> NAH - no assholes here  
> ESH - everyone sucks here  
> INFO - needs more information

**AITA for telling my ex to leave when i saw him at a party?  
** posted by /u/throwawaygermaphobe • 3h

i know the title makes me sound horrible but please hear me out, okay?

okay so me [22M] and my ex [22M] (let’s call him K) broke up a little over a year ago after dating for about 8 months, give or take. we’re really different as people; i’m more on the loud side and K would mostly keeps to himself. we argued quite a few times too but nothing that wouldn’t be considered a normal amount for two dudes in their early 20s. i wouldn’t say we broke up on bad terms either but let’s just say we stopped talking after that and avoided each other any time we could (we have mutual friends). 

K is a huge germaphobe. he wears a mask any time he’s out and he’s hardly seen without one in public. when we were dating, he told me that he hated crowded places and that direct physical contact was mostly a no-no. he usually avoids group outings with our friends too because he hates drinking and hates close contact and we never really said anything to him because that’s just how he is and it’s not something he can just stop doing. once he even said that “the smell of humans” makes him nauseous. he vomited after he said that. 

so obviously, a college party would definitely NOT be his scene, right?

i saw him at the semester’s opening party last night and it honestly felt like watching a dog walk on its hind legs. idk why i did it but i went up to him and asked him what he was doing there and that he should probably leave (mostly out of concern) but i guess it came out wrong because suddenly he got really mad at me and because HE got mad at me, i got mad at HIM. and it was weird because he knows what i’m like so i didn’t really expect him to just blow up. it was embarrassing to say the least. things got heated and then he told me that i should never have approached him, which? pissed me off? irrational? probably.

maybe i didn’t explain myself well enough to him or in this post but i don’t think i deserved to get blown up at after genuinely asking him if he was okay? idk. am i acting like a crazy ex? i never really pegged myself as the type to be one but after the way he got mad at me maybe i am…

was it my fault that we’re somehow on worse terms than when we were yesterday morning?

* * *

**LittleGiant** 12 points • 2h  
NTA. K is kind of acting like TA if he suddenly blew up at you. in public at that. i mean? if you guys dated for that long, it can’t be like he doesn’t know your speech patterns or antics already. but you guys shouldn’t have yelled at each other like that :/

> **MeowMeow** 5 points • 2h  
> I think you’re siding with OP too quickly. He did say that they BOTH yelled at each other

**notflightlessanymore420** 52 points • 1h  
INFO. I think vital information isn’t being communicated here. If you didn’t end on bad terms, why did you guys just stop contacting each other altogether? It seems a little sus ijs…

> **RoosterHead** 8 points • 51m  
> oh look we got someone who has never been in a relationship before here

**USHIWAKA** 70 points • 47m  
NAH. I think this is a classic case of misunderstanding. You guys should talk it out! Good luck OP <3

**milkyoghurt** 20 points • 32m  
YTA. Why does your ex need to explain anything to you when you guys essentially mean nothing to each other now?

> **LittleGiant** 10 points • 29m  
> he was concerned for his ex? that’s why he asked?
>
>> **milkyoghurt** 6 points • 24m  
> Literally he could have just ignored his ex? Also how was his ex supposed to know that? It “came out wrong” according to OP so clearly he wasn’t nice about it either
>>
>>> **LittleGiant** 7 points • 19m  
> THAT DOESN’T MEAN OP IS TA????

**AceOfBirds** 74 points • 5m  
NAH but I think this should be on /r/relationship_advice instead lol

* * *

Atsumu stares at the responses he’s gotten so far on the reddit post. Maybe he did go a little too far, _milkyoghurt_ is starting to get to him but then again, that user also seems like an asshole themself. He thinks back to last night, was he really an asshole when he told Sakusa that he should probably leave?

Even amongst a crowd of people Atsumu could spot him as soon as he stepped through the front door. There he was, stood in the corner, hands balled into fists as bodies surrounded him in too close of a distance, in a room that was far too dimly lit and smelled too much like alcohol and tobacco. It made Atsumu pity him, even for a second. Sakusa looked out of place; a square peg in a round hole, gourmet food being served at a McDonald’s, an Oscar worthy performance in a Jennifer Aniston movie. The man was wearing a white mask over his face but even though reading expressions were rendered useless, Atsumu could tell immediately that he did not want to be there at all. Sakusa seemed to pale even further from his already light skin as time flew by and honestly, Atsumu tried his best to ignore it.

Atsumu talked with his friends (who aren’t mutual) and maybe drank a little beer and even after about half an hour passed, Sakusa was still standing in the corner of the room with his head bowed down, looking more distressed than he was before.

 _Why the fuck is he here?_ Atsumu wondered. It wasn’t like any of their mutual friends were there either because he knew that Hinata had a date with Kageyama and Bokuto, for some unholy reason, had work. _Who even invited him? And why did he come if he’s going to look like a stick is up his ass anyway?_

The people around him started to laugh which was probably the cue for Atsumu to laugh too so he did. But like the typical Atsumu he is, his eyes somehow wandered back to the man in the corner of the room. The man was approached by a group of girls and Atsumu could see that he was shaking his head in polite rejection. Atsumu could also see that Sakusa’s complexion had turned nothing short of bitter gourd green.

_Okay, fuck._

He just couldn’t stand it any longer.

“Omi-kun, what are ya doin’ here?” Atsumu asked. “Shouldn’ ya go home?”

Sakusa lifted his head and even though he couldn’t see it, Atsumu could tell that the man was frowning. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” It was angry, far more angry than what Atsumu was expecting. Everything about Sakusa that night seemed out of place.

Atsumu raised an eyebrow. “What? This isn’t really yer thing now, is it? Ya look like yer gonna throw up. Take my help while I’m offerin’. Even if ya beg me fer help later, I wouldn’ bother -”

“Then just leave me alone!” This was the most they had spoken to each other in months. Atsumu had almost forgotten what his voice sounded like. It felt foreign hearing it so loudly, ringing in his ears, huffs of breaths and annoyed groans. It pissed him off that this was how it was going to be.

“Can ya not talk to me like that?” he said through gritted teeth. “Can ya not talk to me like we have nothin’ to do with each other?”

“Isn’t that true though?” Sakusa glared at him. “Miya, we broke up a year ago. We’re strangers now. Don’t act too familiar.”

Astumu frowned. “Fuck you, Sakusa Kiyoomi.”

* * *

**Edit:** K told me that i shouldn’t worry about him because we’re strangers now and tbh that was what ticked me off the most. we were friends for a year before we started going out and he’s willing to throw that all away?

* * *

**AceOfBirds** 24 points • 2m  
OP, I’m begging you, please post this on /r/relationship_advice instead

* * *

Hm.

 _AceOfBirds’_ suggestion does seem like a good one but, that implies that Atsumu wants relationship advice. No. He just wants to know if he’s the asshole.

(Because Sakusa is the asshole)

He finally looks up from his phone and sets it aside face down. Students are starting to enter the hall for their seminar class, and uncharacteristically, Atsumu came in early. And it’s definitely not because he couldn’t sleep after their encounter last night. His head is still throbbing though, not exactly due to a hangover; he didn’t drink enough to get absolutely shit-faced plastered last night and now he kind of wishes that he did. If he did get hammered, maybe he wouldn’t remember everything that happened last night in disgusting detail.

The way Sakusa’s curly hair fell over his eyes in waves, the way the two moles right above his right brow seemed to be just as much of a constellation as it was the last time they ever saw each other, the way Sakusa’s gaze pierced through him, eyes dark like a black hole, sucking Atsumu’s entire being into a realm where neither light nor time made any sense.

Suddenly, it felt like the last two-ish years never happened. It was like they never fell apart or drifted apart. It was like when they just started going out; in that awkward little stage between friendship and something more. All foreign and new.

It was like despite everything, they were still the same.

And for a horrific moment, Atsumu missed it. He missed _them._

He sighs.

Disgusting.

Absolutely disgusting.

He can’t afford to think about it now though, because the professor is entering their class, five minutes after he was supposed to start it but whatever, it’s the first day and they’re going to be out the door in fifteen minutes anyway.

But just as he’s about to look away, he ends up staring at the man who knocks on the door frame and bowing his head, apologising for being late. A mop of dark curly hair, a white mask covering his mouth and nose, two moles above his right eyebrow, dark eyes that Atsumu finds himself being lost in.

“I’m sorry, professor,” the man says before he quietly walks to the back of the class, past Atsumu’s seat, in the far corner of the room.

Fuck.

* * *

**Edit:** by freak chance, me and K are in the same seminar for this semester. that’s 14 weeks of being in the same vicinity as K. how do i not murder him on sight?

* * *

“This has to be a prank. Are ya prankin’ me ’Samu?” Atsumu says into his phone. None of this can be real. Osamu _must_ have gotten his friends and professors to be in on some horrible joke because how else can these things keep happening. It makes no sense.

“Have ya ever considered that it could be a coincidence?” his brother replies.

“Are ya insane?” Atsumu retorts. “How can any of this be a coincidence?”

He hears Osamu sigh on the other end. “’Tsumu, ya go to the same university. One of these days, yer bound to bump into each other.”

“I haven’ ‘bumped into him’ in months,” Atsumu air-quotes, belatedly realising that his brother can’t see him. He shakes his head. “In any case, I have lived in _peace_ since we broke up. And now he-” he takes in a deep breath, “he just shows up and ruins _everything!_ ”

“Oi. Can ya stop bein’ so dramatic?” Even without his brother in front of him, Atsumu can tell that he’s pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance. “It’s not like ya _have_ to interact. Yer just in the same seminar, yer not partners in a group. Can ya calm down?”

Well, his brother _is_ right. Just because they’re in the same seminar, it doesn’t mean that they have to communicate. He can still live his life being completely Sakusa-Kiyoomi-free, just like he has for the past year.

He remembers how Sakusa looked at him the night they broke up, naked body wrapped in a blanket, sat hunched on the bed as he stared at Atsumu from across the room. His face was just as unreadable as the day Atsumu asked him out.

_“Miya, I think we should stop seeing each other.”_

Atsumu sighs. Everything will go back to normal like it’s supposed to.

But still, he feels the back of his head being gnawed on and it sends a wave of discomfort through his body. He should do something about this shouldn’t he?

Maybe all he needs to do is learn how to be civil? Miya Atsumu always puts his foot down and faces his troubles head on. That’s how he’s always been.

He goes through his contacts list, clicks on a name and types out a message. Something simple like _hi, remember me? maybe we shouldn’t fight about stupid things anymore_ but when he sees the last exchange they had, all that courage and confidence he had only seconds ago instantly depletes and instead, worries pour into his stomach like liquid metal, weighing his entire body down in hot anxiety. Now, there’s nothing else he can do but delete it and throw his phone on the bed.

Maybe later.

* * *

**Omi-Omi  
** 23 August 2016

_Hey._

?  
what is it

_You forgot some things at my place.  
_ _Can you grab them? Either that or I throw them out._

ok  
i’ll be there in 20

* * *

Sat, September 16, 8:03pm (2 hours ago)

 **Subject: DETAILS FOR SEMINAR II (Semester 2, 17/18)  
** Prof. Takagi Kei <takagikei321@24h.co.jp>  
to: miyaatsumu18

Good evening all,

Please find attached the list of your partners that you will be pairing up with for the rest of the semester for all your group assignments. Students who could not inform me who the person they chose as their partner in time will find that I have assigned to you the partner myself.

Any questions, you can contact me through email or text me on Line.

Regards,  
 ** _Dr. Takagi Kei  
_** ** _Professor  
_** ** _Department of Anthropology  
_** ** _Faculty of Human Sciences_**

* * *

Atsumu clicks on the attachment and almost passes out when he sees the name next to his.

_Sakusa Kiyoomi._

What are the odds? He’s convinced that the universe just hates him and this is divine punishment for being a bastard. Maybe he _is_ the asshole. Maybe he wants to fling himself out the window now.

* * *

**Edit:** me and K ended up being partners in our seminar. how do i act civil when i want to kill him for what he said to me?

* * *

**AceOfBirds** 93 points • 6m  
OP, you’re NTA (and neither is your ex) but you have to post this on /r/relationship_advice…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was fun to write. hopefully i finish this soon.
> 
> well, until then <3


	2. Sakusa

Sakusa Kiyoomi loves keeping lists. Lists are something he can write down when he needs to remember things and cross out when he completes the needed tasks. There are a lot of things he can make lists for; daily tasks, assignments he needs to complete, groceries and what-not. Lists mean control, and control makes him happy.

His only regret is not being able to control when he met the storm that turned his life upside down. Like most people who met the Miya brothers, Sakusa was taken by one of them. But unlike most people who agreed that Osamu was probably the one you should take home to your parents, Sakusa unwittingly found himself falling head over heels for Miya Atsumu.

Miya Atsumu was everything Sakusa wasn’t; loud, boisterous, impatient, but at the same time, he was one of the few people who were sensitive enough to not ridicule him about his mysophobia, his weird fastidious tendencies, his snark that sometimes — albeit, rarely — got the better of him.

* * *

**things I love**  
his eyes  
his smile  
his laugh  
...

Last modified: 23 Aug 2016  
Created: 17 Jul 2014

* * *

Sakusa stares at the email.

Why is the world so fucked up?

Is the universe giving him a hint that his final semester will now be laden with boundless misfortune?

As if the week couldn’t get any worse, Sakusa ended up being paired with the one person he’s been trying to avoid since that stint at the party. He was worried about taking the seminar without anyone in the class that he knew and now he wishes it were true. Honestly, fuck his friends for ditching him. He’s gonna put them on a hit list. He doesn’t have that many friends in the first place but the sacrifice is for the best because now they’re all in the same class and here he is with Miya Atsumu of all people. For fourteen — well, now thirteen — weeks. He’s utterly fucked.

He should have never gone to that god forsaken party. What exactly was he trying to achieve? He didn’t even have a clear plan when he showed up to a place where he knew no one but one person and ended up being driven nauseous by the countless bodies around him. That was stupid of him, a total miscalculation on his part and now he has to spend _time_ with the very person he yelled at in a very public space surrounded by the friends of said person.

Maybe it’s easier to dig himself a hole and die instead?

As if on queue, his phone chimes.

And of course, it’s Atsumu.

* * *

**don’t respond  
**17 September 2017

 _omi-kun  
_ _we need to talk  
_ _it's important_

Alright.

* * *

Of course Atsumu picks their usual spot. Wait, scratch that, it’s their _old_ usual spot. That spot being a café just a little farther away than the other cafés around campus. They found it in their sophomore year, the distance and the pricier coffee meant that a lot of students would rather not go there when there's cheaper and closer options. Less people. His focus could never divert. There was always something to keep track of; Atsumu’s eyes that gazed like he was the only person there, Atsumu’s tongue that sometimes poked out of his mouth as he spoke, Atsumu’s cheeks that would redden when he laughed a little too hard.

Yeah, Sakusa is fucked.

When he enters the café, it's nearly deserted if not for the two or three patrons dispersed around the room. He spots Atsumu immediately, but the man has his back to him and is also talking to someone on his phone.

“... I’m just trying to be civil, ’Samu. No, it’s not a date. You know how much he hates me…”

Sakusa instantly cringes, not that anyone in the vicinity can tell with the mask over his face. Well, maybe Atsumu would be able to if he turned around and looked.

But that doesn't mean he’s prepared when the man actually does. He turns around and his eyes widen upon seeing Sakusa’s face. He wonders if he looks ugly today actually.

“’Samu, I’ll call ya back, okay?” he says into his phone before ending the call and setting it down onto the table. He nods over to the seat in front of him, beckoning Sakusa to sit down.

He does, trying to calm the feeling of dread that washes over him like a car that drives by a puddle on the road. “You’re early.”

Atsumu nods. “I was in the area.” Sakusa waits for an elaboration before realising that he’s not going to get any. And Atsumu doesn’t need to explain further anyway. He doesn’t know what that makes him feel.

“I’ll go order,” Sakusa says, making a move to stand up.

A hand stops in front of him. Normally, you would just grab the person, but Atsumu makes sure not to touch him. “Don’t bother, I ordered for ya already.”

Sakusa quirks an eyebrow, slowly sitting back down. “You remembered my order?” 

“It’d be weirder if I didn’.”

Again, he doesn’t elaborate. Why does Sakusa keep expecting him to? It’s been a year, Atsumu probably changed; he doesn’t need to tell him everything that happened during his day or why he does things.

And then Atsumu pulls him out of his thoughts and says something outrageous. “I wanna be friends again, Omi-kun.”

“What?”

“Friends. Remember? That thing we used to be?” Sakusa doesn’t say anything for a while and Atsumu starts to look visibly anxious. He bites his lower lip, a hand comes up to rub the back of his neck as he continues talking. “Listen, I know ya might not like me — hell, ya could even hate me — but believe it or not, I think we were good together. Not necessarily as boyfriends but we were really good as friends weren’t we? Can’t we try again?”

“I don’t hate you,” is all Sakusa can say and instantly Atsumu’s face lights up.

“Ya don’t?”

Sakusa shrugs.

And thus begins the coming months of them meeting each other at the library on the regular, grabbing dinner together whenever their study sessions stretch far longer than they initially anticipate, hanging out for no particular reason in the pristine condition of Sakusa’s apartment because he would never be caught dead in the rat’s nest that is Atsumu’s shared dorm room. Sometimes, Sakusa would let Atsumu touch him. Sometimes, he feels a hand on his shoulder that pulls him closer to a warm body. Sometimes, there are fingers that comb through his hair and he finds himself falling asleep like that.

“Motoya, I don’t know how much longer I can stand this, he’s driving me insane.”

His cousin doesn’t even lift his eyes from his phone, aimlessly scrolling through while sipping his coffee. Fuck his cousin too, Sakusa guesses. The bastard is going on the hit list.

“Oi,” Sakusa tries again, exasperated. “Can you actually listen to me?”

Komori sighs and lifts his gaze to meet his cousin. “Listen? Kiyoomi, I _have_ been listening and _all_ I hear — in fact, all I’ve been hearing ever since you met — is the fact that you're horny for your ex. It happens. Nothing to fret over.” He shrugs.

Sakusa, in turn, feels all the blood rushing to his face.

“See? Bingo,” Komori laughs and it honestly makes Kiyoomi want to throw up.

Is it that obvious? Maybe, Atsumu has been acting this way because he knows how he feels? Is this some fucked up way of payback?

But no, Atsumu would never do that. He’s cocky and arrogant but he’d never play with someone’s feelings. He’s not an asshole, not on purpose anyway, and a plan like that is too premeditated to be true. But there is only one thing that Sakusa is almost certain is the truth.

“He hates me,” he whispers.

Komori frowns. “No, he doesn’t.”

“Yes, he does!”

“You just told me that he wants to be friends with you again. You guys frequently go on dates — yes, non-studying and non-assignment related hang outs are called _dates._ Like? ‘Oh no! He brings me to my favourite sushi joint on Saturdays and stays over at my apartment to watch movies sometimes. The horror!’ Fuck you, Kiyoomi. Even _I_ don’t get to stay over that often.” Komori’s left eyebrow slowly disappears under his fringe and now Sakusa wants to die. “Or were you lying to me?”

“I don’t know what to do. I’m not-” he sighs, “I’m not capable of being his friend. But I can’t tell him this. _I_ was the one who said that we should break up! And now it seems like he really does want to move on! I can’t go running back now, I’d be the asshole.”

“Kiyoomi, I say this with as much love as I can; you were already the asshole when you broke up with him when you didn’t even want to.” Komori leans back on his chair, arms crossed and shaking his head like he’s telling off a child for doing something completely ridiculous. “You should tell him what you just said. He’d be pissed but I doubt that would push him to hatred.”

“Isn’t that the problem?”

Komori tilts his head. “You _want_ to be hated by him?”

“Wouldn’t that make everything easier?”

“There you go again with your stupid pessimism! How about you actually tell him what you feel? There’s a difference between being cautious and being a coward, dear cousin. And you aren’t even treading that line anymore.” He takes another sip of his coffee. “Quiet my ass, you talk a lot whenever it’s about Miya.”

“Shut up.” Sakusa stares down to his hands, pale and trembling. “In any case, I shouldn’t ask _you_ for help. You know both of us personally. You can’t be objective.”

“It’s because I know you two personally is why I’m saying this.” He frowns. “You know what? Fuck it. Have you tried reddit?”

* * *

**I [22M] broke up with my ex [22M] with whom I'm still very much in love with  
**posted by /u/helpiminlovewithmyex • 1h

It’s pretty self explanatory.

I’ve never used reddit before and I’m not big on social media in general but I told my cousin the very same thing I’m about to tell you and he keeps giving me terrible advice. Then he said maybe I need to ask people who have no connection to any of us so here it goes.

Let’s call my ex Tsu. We dated for around 8 months and broke up a year ago.

Tsu and I met in freshman year in one of those parties the seniors would throw for you during orientation week each year. And I pretty much fell for him right then and there.

He’s everything I’m not: he’s loud, cocky and really funny (I would never tell him that though). And I don’t like loud, or crowded spaces. I prefer being alone for the most part, I hate being the centre of attention.

Important detail: I have mysophobia which is what the layman would call being a germaphobe. It’s not something I can easily change overnight but I do try to ease up as much as I can. Naturally, it’s difficult. I always faced a dilemma; I wear a mask everywhere because I can’t really stand human smells in crowded spaces, it makes me nauseous, and I don’t exactly want to stand out either, which proves difficult when wearing a mask every time I’m in public. People used to think I was just always sick and had a bad immune system. Normally when I tell people why I can’t not wear a mask they call me weird or say “it’s not a big deal so just take it off”, but Tsu never said that to me. He said okay and then we continued into a different topic like it was the most natural thing in the world. I really admire him for that.

And it’s because of that that I broke up with him. I was probably holding him back from having a relationship with someone normal. Being with him made me want to put in the effort to try to reel in on my tendencies but it was hard. And I had the realisation that no matter how hard I try, it’ll never amount to normal. So I called it off. Maybe that was selfish of me, I don’t know but I couldn’t really help that anxiety anymore.

But the problem is that I still love him. Even over a year later. I went to a party earlier in the semester because I thought I'd be able to see him for the last time before we graduate, but I messed that up too. We ended up in the same seminar and were assigned as partners for it. He wants for us to be friends again, just like in “the good old days” and I… don’t think I’m able to do that.

What should I do?

* * *

**m00nrise_43** -5 points • 54m  
wow op, you seem like an asshole

> **snakecaptain** **[moderator]** 12 points • 15m  
>  You have been banned from /r/relationship_advice. You can still view and subscribe to /r/relationship_advice but you will not be able to comment or post.
> 
> **MeowMeow** 8 points • 4m  
>  how has this dude not gotten IP banned yet

**USHIWAKA** 102 points • 49m  
OP, why don’t you just tell your ex what you told us? You said he was very understanding of your situation before, right? Your feelings might differ but at least you would have closure :) I hope everything turns out well for you OP!

**RoosterHead** 54 points • 47m  
i feel like i’ve read this post before but like… two months ago… and in a different pov

> **notflightlessanymore420** 32 points • 42m  
>  Now wait a fucking second-

**LittleGiant** 50 points • 32m  
OP are you perhaps… K? from throwawaygermaphobe’s post?

> **milkyoghurt** 32 points • 30m  
>  No fucking way…
>
>> **LittleGiant** 12 points • 26m  
>  right????
> 
>  **helpiminlovewithmyex** 5 points • 5m  
>  What does this mean?

**AceOfBirds** 124 points • 28m  
uhhh… OP i think you should check /u/throwawaygermaphobe's post on /r/AmITheAsshole

* * *

Sakusa squints at his phone. 

_K?_

_/u/throwawaygermaphobe?_

_/r/AmITheAsshole?_

Are these words supposed to mean anything to him? Regardless, he takes their advice and searches up the user and the post. He reads it once, twice, five times over, and as if he's being possessed by the spirit of _/r/AmITheAsshole,_ he keys in Atsumu’s number (because he can never forget it) and calls him.

It only takes one dial before Atsumu picks up. But before the man can say anything, Sakusa beats him to it.

“You’re not the asshole!”

A pause.

“What?” Atsumu replies, voice even. Fuck, Sakusa missed the sound of his voice. It’s only been a day. Get a grip.

“You aren’t the asshole,” Sakusa says again and for some reason, he finds himself panting like he just ran a marathon. The grip on his phone tightens the longer he holds it. “I’m the asshole.”

“Omi-kun, I’m not following -”

Here goes nothing. “I’m the asshole, _throwawaygermaphobe._ ”

The call ends.

Atsumu hung up on him.

Fuck.

But before he can panic, Atsumu’s name flashes on his phone screen. He’s calling him? Again?

Sakusa picks up, only to be met with a loud, contagious laugh. 

“Omi-omi, ya read that?” Atsumu asks between laughs. “Wow, that’s really fuckin’ embarrassin’ actually. I’m tryin’ to hide my embarrassment behind my laugh if ya can’t tell.”

And despite himself, Sakusa smiles. Leave it to Atsumu to make him feel normal again. “Yeah, I can tell.” But he quickly catches himself, remembering all the contents of the post again. All of them. “So are you still mad at me?”

“Mad?”

“You said you wanted to kill me twice in the post. I probably deserve it but,” he trails off.

“What? No. I could never be mad at ya. Not for long anyway.”

“Hm. Okay.” 

The silence between them stretches over them for what feels to be minutes. It’s thick and a little uncomfortable. He needs to find a way to cut through it, he needs to cut through it so that they can be normal again, he needs to-

“Listen Omi-kun, I think we have a lot of misunderstandin’s between us. If ya thought I was actually angry at ya because of a dumb reddit post then maybe we need to have a talk. Just you and me.”

“I would like that actually.” Sakusa nods, knowing full well that Atsumu can’t actually see him but he’s sure the man gets it. He feels warmth start to well up in his chest and he desperately tries to keep that in check. What is he feeling so happy for? “The usual place?”

“You read my mind.” It’s like Sakusa can actually hear Atsumu’s smile.

Soon, he’s out the door running and he doesn’t know why. His feet seem to be moving on their own accord and for some crazy reason, Sakusa doesn’t mind. He doesn’t mind getting exhausted and out of breath to meet a man who may or may not want him dead. And then Sakusa realises that he doesn’t really care. All he wants is for Atsumu to hear what he has to say and if his heart breaks in the process then so be it.

He pushes the door of the café and hears the bell chime. Atsumu is already at their regular table so he walks up to him only for the man to stare, jaw slacked, a horrified expression on his face when Sakusa reaches the seat.

“What is it?” he asks.

Not saying anything, Atsumu lifts a hand and points to his face. Too late, Sakusa realises that he’s not wearing a mask. Suddenly, his breaths become a little more sporadic and he’s finding it difficult to think.

Fuck.

He must have said it out loud because Atsumu immediately stands up.

“No, it’s okay. Calm down.” Atsumu gently places a hand on his shoulder. “I have a spare in my bag. See?” And just like he said, Atsumu takes out a box of three-ply masks from his bag and hands Sakusa one.

Sakusa puts it on, but his gaze on Atsumu never wavers. “Why do you have this?”

And the bastard, the fucking bastard, shrugs like it’s not a big deal to him. “I always carry a box when I’m goin’ to see ya.”

Sakusa feels his throat run dry. “Why?”

“Just in case ya forget.”

“But I never forget.”

“Ya did just now, dumbass.”

And Sakusa, like the dumbass he is, blurts it out. “I never wanted to break up!”

Atsumu stares at him, eyes wide and eyebrows raised. “What?”

Fuck.

“I -” he can’t seem to speak. “Nevermind, It -”

“Kiyoomi,” Atsumu says, voice stern and Sakusa freezes. “We’re here to talk, aren’ we? So talk to me.”

Sakusa nods. “Okay, I- I never wanted to break up.”

Atsumu frowns. “But you were the one who asked fer it.”

“I thought that I was setting you free,” he confesses. Atsumu’s frown deepens but Sakusa doesn’t stop. “I never told you this but I fell for you the moment I met you. And I was so happy when you asked me out, even if I didn't show it. It was the happiest I had ever been. But then I got scared.”

“Why?”

“I was thinking that you can’t possibly like me that much. And that I was probably holding you back. Isn’t it hard to have a normal relationship with me? We can’t really hang out with that many people, you can’t bring me anywhere. I couldn’t kiss you until a month into us dating. And we couldn’t even attempt to sleep together without me panicking.

“That night, when we tried again, I don’t know, maybe I was just testing the waters but I wanted to know how much you were willing to go through it for me. So when I said that, I wanted to gauge out your reaction. I was being an asshole I know but I was hoping you’d get mad at me. If not, I wanted you to ask me why I wanted to break up, but all you said was -”

“‘Okay’,” Atsumu finishes for him.

Sakusa nods. “And then it occurred to me that maybe you just wanted out.”

“Omi-kun,” Atsumu starts. “I only agreed because I thought you couldn’ stand bein’ with me anymore.”

The words make no sense in his ears. “What?”

“Ya never really said that ya liked me but I thought it was fine because I could tell that ya felt _somethin’_ for me. It was enough.” Atsumu smiles. “But when we started to get more intimate, I realised how much I was putting ya through. So when ya said ya wanted to break up, I thought that ya must’ve really hated it.”

“But I didn’t hate it.” It’s true. “If it’s you, I can do it. I just need a little more time.”

Atsumu laughs. “We’re a pair of idiots, aren’t we?”

A pair.

He said they’re a pair.

“Yeah,” Sakusa replies, smiling under his mask.

Atsumu stares at him again, long and hard, before his eyes dart downwards to Sakusa’s hand on the table, then back up to meet his gaze. There’s a question there that doesn’t need to be uttered.

Sakusa nods and soon feels a warm hand over his.

* * *

**Miya** **🙄** ❤️  
24 November 2017

_omi-omi_

Yes?

is this you?  
_https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/msby..._

…  
No.

😂😂😂  
_that’s too bad then_

?

😏

…  
You can come over.

* * *

**throwawaygermaphobe** 236 points • 10m  
hey OP, i love you.

> **helpiminlovewithmyex** 189 points • 8m  
>  …  
>  I love you, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow im surprised at myself tbh hhhh i didnt expect to finish this so fast.
> 
> i hope you guys enjoyed reading it just as much as i enjoyed writing it!
> 
> until next time then
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/atsumu_twt) | [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/atsumu_twt)


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